Tears, numbness, purple under your eyes. It can be comforting. What more could you want than to blast Mitski’s “Liquid Smooth” for the 20th time that same evening? Everything is too much. It hurts to move. Friends reaching out sound like nagging voices. Staying under this dusty blanket for the 70th hour sounds like a good option — in fact, it’s the only one. But diving too deep into comfort and complacency can offer more harm than good. You need to break out of the cycle.

Depression can feel like a downward spiral. With the weather getting colder and the sun hiding away, everything can feel just a little more difficult, and depression can act as a catalyst. Lack of motivation and energy can lead to avoidance of previously enjoyed activities. There can be relief in this, reinforcing an isolated, helpless, hopeless position within the world. It’s cyclical, a spiral, and a point separated from the fast-moving stretches of time all at once. I know what it feels like to be buried, and I know how impossible it feels to shovel yourself out. But I also know how good it feels to see the color in my face again.

Recovery is an option, no matter how long it has been or how much of a reach it may seem. It’s also an active effort, and yet it can feel counterintuitive when you’re depressed. Research suggests that depressed individuals are more likely to regulate their emotions in a way that maintains sadness, but claim to prefer happiness over sadness. This may be due to finding comfort in sad stimuli that offer self-verification or believing that they deserve to feel bad. If you’ve been depressed for a while, it can feel like it has become your identity: all-consuming. Sad music is just music, and everything else is overwhelming. Essentially, it can feel like a black hole that has permanently pulled you in, dilated time, and torn your body into a billion pieces. One minute on Earth can feel like a thousand years in the space that has trapped you.

I have been volunteering with Crisis Text Line for two years now. Every time I speak with a texter who desperately needs help and has burned through their resources, I sit in awe. I am constantly inspired by the strength and vulnerability it must take to recognize that “I need to get help now,” because it is by no means an easy feat. And yet, this is what others in crises need to start realizing. Depression is no exception to inertia; you cannot wait idly for your life to change.

So, what can you do? A key influencing factor in depression’s harmful cycles is rumination. After a negative event, regardless of its tangible impact, it is common to ruminate. Ruminating can feel like a journey back to a familiar moment, or endlessly attempting to figure out what went wrong. This can look like staring at the ceiling, having trouble sleeping, or sinking into a depressive episode. Rumination has been a popular target for therapeutic interventions in both preventing and treating depression. One method that has shown promising results is rumination-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy, a form of treating ruminative behaviors through functional analysis, specific strategies, and practice. Breaking the pattern of rumination is difficult but necessary to an effective healing process.

Another supplementary strategy is letting yourself rest. One thing that I have noticed about professors at Oberlin is that they are incredibly understanding and accommodating with mental health days, giving extensions, and offering support. Reaching out for help and being transparent sooner than later will save you in the long run. However, it is also easy to fall into a cycle of relying too heavily on external support and falling victim to complacency. If you skip one class because you’re not feeling up to it, all of the other classes begin to feel increasingly optional. While mental health days are beneficial and sometimes necessary, they are not the be-all and end-all solution. 

In fact, a pattern of distancing yourself from your typical routine can be harmful. Social rhythms, referring to the regularity of engaging with social and lifestyle activities, are essential to maintaining one’s health and wellbeing. The circadian rhythm functions to regulate our sleep-wake cycle and its respective biological and cognitive processes in regular intervals. When this rhythm is disrupted, so is our mood’s stability. When depressed, it can be tempting to neglect basic survival needs, especially in terms of eating and sleeping at regular times. It can feel impossible to maintain a normal social rhythm. Even setting an alarm to wake up at a consistent time every day can contribute to a predictable, more stable circadian rhythm. Planning small daily goals and visualizing events on a calendar can help to maintain a routine without being too overwhelming.

Disruptions in circadian and social rhythms were seen globally during the COVID-19 pandemic. Unemployment and remote communication and social contact led to irregular daily routines. One meta-analysis found that night-shift workers are 40 percent more likely to develop depression than day-shift workers. Circadian explanations for mood disorders are common in psychiatry, emphasizing the importance of lifestyle regularity. Five behaviors that the brief Social Rhythm Metric identifies as important to maintain consistency with are: out of bed, first social contact, commence work/school/etc., have dinner, and go to bed. Planning regular hours for these behaviors can act as a solid foundation to build a healthy, manageable routine upon.

There is no one route to escaping the downward spiral. But remaining complacent is a sure way to stay trapped in the cycle. If you are experiencing this, take action and seek the support that will work for you. It may take trial and error. If you know someone who may be experiencing this, check in. Listen, be patient, be present, and have hope.