We’re back with another installment of “Opinions Editors Decide Everything!” This time, we’re talking about everything centering spring break — from sun protection to pet photos, we’re leaving no stone unturned. 

Should I wear sunscreen even though it’s literally March? 

Emily: Yes, yes, yes, a million times, yes! If you need to ask yourself, the answer is yes. I get that you might want a tan, but there are so many self-tanners out there that can give you the same effect with none of the sun damage or risks associated with ultraviolet light. 

Hanna: According to the plethora of TikTokers on my “For You” page, I should be wearing it daily — carrying it around in my tote bag, along with chapstick, the latest Colleen Hoover novel, and a moleskine notebook. So, should I wear sunscreen? The answer is decidedly yes. Will I wear sunscreen? This is another question altogether. 

VERDICT: You should, but we can’t force you to. 

How can I make everyone else at this beach/subway car/cafe think I’m super cool and sexy and smart and mysterious? 

Emily: I think that there are a lot of different ways to do this. I’d recommend making sure that you’re carrying a tote bag that has a logo from a random, hyper-specific thing like the Oberlin Student Cooperative Association or WOBC-FM that obviously has a “the girls that get it, get it, the girls that don’t, don’t” kinda vibe. A water bottle covered with similarly obscure stickers would complete the set. Finally, you need to be reading something really, really cool, like the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer, while looking bored out of your mind and nonchalant. 

Hanna: First off, I’m thinking sunglasses. You can’t go wrong with a pair of shades. Round, square, heart shaped, oblong — as long as your eyes are covered, you are guaranteed an air of mystery. Next, I would suggest a large coat. Whether you go with trench, jean, or puffer, it is vital that you have as many pockets as possible, so passersby know you have the capacity to hide an array of trinkets on your person. I agree with Emily that some sort of reading material is essential to this ensemble, though I am more inclined to go with the trusty newspaper. Hold it up in front of your face and lower it every so often to look around shiftily. Nothing says sexy and cool like dressing up as a spy. 

VERDICT: It’s all in the attitude.

When is an appropriate time to get out of bed during break?

Emily: I feel like time is sort of fake during breaks. Getting up at 6 a.m. to take a sunrise hike? Cool. Going to bed at 6 a.m. after watching all of Lena Dunham’s Girls on your parents’ Apple TV? Also fair. 

Hanna: Personally, I say don’t. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: Break is for beds. Part of being home is having the leisure to do absolutely nothing. Pretend you are an ailing 16th century monarch. Pull the blinds. Prop yourself up on as many pillows as possible. Have a devoted sibling bring you your meals. Say things like, “My poor nerves” or “Oh, the consumption.” Lean into your leisure time. Remember, all that awaits you after break is a twin XL dorm bed. 

VERDICT: We don’t know, tbh.

What are some of the most obnoxious Instagram captions you can use? 

Emily: I honestly think there are almost too many to list, but here are a few to get you started: “In paradise;” “Sun’s out, buns out;” “Already missing it;” any cliche thing like that. If you’re in New York, saying “Best city in the world” instantly adds you to the list of Worst People on Instagram. 

Hanna: Don’t post about your spring break on Instagram. No post. No captions. No problem. 

VERDICT: We’re judging you regardless. 

How many pictures of my pet is too many? 

Emily: The limit simply does not exist. 

Hanna: I have nothing more to add. 

VERDICT: Post all of them.

How can I make my hometown seem super cool and fun to my friends from New York?

Emily: I ask myself this every time I go home for a break. I’ve decided on going to the old Carnegie library in my city and parking myself in the original reading rooms and stacks for an afternoon and taking pictures there. I’m not really sure though. I’m going to New York City for spring break. 

Hanna: Show them what they’re missing. Take a picture of the gas station mozzarella sticks that you’re ordering on your Friday night out on the town. Pose with the first cow you pass on the country roads to the nearest drug store. Take a video throwing a rock into a river or pond or your closest body of water. Vlog your trip to the local diner. Can you find Grandma Sal’s Famous Biscuits and Gravy in New York? I didn’t think so. 

VERDICT: They’re from New York. They’re judging you regardless.