Akwete Roman and Assistant Professor of Studio Art and Africana Studies Michael Roman didn’t meet in Oberlin. Rather, they met in the library of Syracuse University in the early 2000s. Akwete was earning her doctorate in marriage and family therapy, while Michael was getting his bachelor of fine arts in painting. At this time though, Michael was reconsidering this path, instead toying with the idea of a speech communication degree. So, logically, he went to the library.

The table that Akwete was studying at was the only one available when Michael entered. After a bit of casual library conversation, Akwete asked Michael for a pen — the problem was, he was only carrying pencils. This realization made him aware of something: he needed to be an artist. And, he needed to ask for Akwete’s phone number. She told him that she doesn’t give out her number, but she would take his. That night, she called and made sure to inform Michael that she had a boyfriend.

The two graduated from Syracuse at the same time and went their separate ways. In that time, there was a certain instance where Michael butt-dialed Akwete, because of the fact that the “Ak” in her name puts her at the top of his contacts. Still, she picked up and asked, “Are you okay?” The question resonated with Michael.

What stuck with Akwete comes from a particular story where Michael had showed up to her house while the two were at Syracuse, called, and let her know that he was outside. Upon entering, the smell was what struck him — it felt like home. To Akwete, smell is a “superpower” of hers, making her particularly moved by this sentiment.

Their first date was 20 years after meeting at Syracuse, in Arizona. By pure coincidence, the two reconnected at the Third Eye Mountain Retreat and shared their long-overdue first date at True Food Kitchen. At the retreat, the two gave the impression to others that they had known each other and been together for years.

They began dating long-distance. Michael was teaching in Maine when the pair decided one day that they wanted to get married. Akwete moved to Maine and ten days later, it was official.

Akwete and Michael ended up at Oberlin when Michael found an opening in the arts department after he had previously interviewed for a visiting position in 2020. He accepted the offer, on the condition that Akwete would also have a job — Oberlin was entirely amenable to this agreement. For Akwete and Michael, the community that Oberlin provides is of prime importance.

In Oberlin, the two have found a sense of home at Thi Ni Thai. Before Akwete’s current position as a staff therapist, she was teaching a first-year seminar in the evenings. The two made it a point to have date nights after, and the staff at Thi Ni Thai have made sure to accommodate them. Michael is perhaps to thank for the addition of the panang curry with tofu to their menu.

Aside from the fate that seemingly brought them together, Akwete and Michael feel artistically aligned. While Michael is a visual artist, Akwete finds artistic pleasure in writing poetry, and they both have a share of long-term projects which combine their passions. They often find themselves on the same page, spiritually and creatively.

During the first classes of the semester, Michael is sure to tell his students that he is always available to talk, especially given the personal nature often involved in art-making. He is sure to note, though, that while he is available, he isn’t a therapist: that’s Dr. Akwete Roman.