I was in a work meeting when, after noticing we had forgotten to respond to an email for days, my coworker exclaimed, “I hate being a flaky Oberlin student!”
It had never occurred to me that this was such an institutional problem, but after hearing them say that, I realized that the flakiness of those around me was something that I have been struggling with throughout my time here.
On a professional and academic level, flakiness leads to stagnancy, which has gotten in the way of my goals and those of the organizations I work with. My coworkers and I will spend our meetings dreaming about ways we can improve the work we’re doing and strengthen our presence at Oberlin, but when it comes down to implementation, no one actually wants to do the grunt work that’s required. Numerous times I have shown up to near empty meeting rooms, or been the only one willing to speak when working on group projects.
Turning in late work has become a staple issue Oberlin students face. As Arts Editor for the Review, I often find myself getting late night apologetic texts saying that articles are going to be turned in late, which results in me and my team having to pull late nights and scramble.
Of course, it is unreasonable to expect people to put an article over their schoolwork, but this is a problem which extends to academics as well. I have heard many professors observe that in recent years, they have seen an increase in students not being able to turn in work on time or attend class, while citing vague reasons such as “mental health” or “not feeling well.” Not to fault anyone for struggling with their health, as issues do arise, and having to disclose private information should not be an expectation, but when it becomes a large-scale phenomenon to this extent, I start to wonder if there is an uptick in health issues, or if standards for undergraduates have lowered.
Recently, the Review published an opinion about the comparison trap of Oberlin (“Student Critiques Oberlin Comparison Trap,” The Oberlin Review, Feb. 28, 2025). I think the culture in which people are encouraged to be overly active and involved is the same one which causes people to be so flaky. It is normal to push yourself into a state of exhaustion, which results in people not being actually able to commit to anything fully. It is totally normal to hear of students having to, on top of taking classes, balance being part of multiple student organizations, practice their instrument, participate in their co-op, and have a job. This is not only an unsustainable lifestyle for anyone, but stacking one’s resume as much as possible results in people not actually being able to do their jobs well.
This is a problem which extends beyond academics and professionalism into social contexts. At Oberlin, it is a norm for people to completely dodge someone’s text for days at a time, giving a measly apology days or weeks later. Being busy is one thing, but completely ignoring someone is not a polite way to treat a friend or acquaintance. This may sound harsh, but “not feeling like it” is not an okay reason to blow someone off.
Reliability is an important part of building community, both in a broader sense and in terms of interpersonal relationships. If we continue to normalize and accept empty promises never being fulfilled, we will never be able to work towards a greater Oberlin. And not being able to trust someone to commit to something, or reciprocate the same energy I’m putting in has stopped me from pursuing lots of projects, friendships, and other endeavors that could have been meaningful and rewarding. Being held back by flakiness — or fear thereof — of others is something I have become too accustomed to, but am getting tired of.
