a man in front of a green screen 

tells me he’s a researcher at Harvard. 

he asks me if I’ve ever had blurry vision. 

he tells me I am constantly afraid of going blind. 

he tells me that, if he were to die tomorrow, 

he’d want to make sure that I knew, 

that if I eat one blueberry, 

from Walmart, 

by Monday … 

Istronglyrecommendyoustopwhatyou’redoingand 

watchwhatmagnesiumdoestoyourbowelsWatchwh 

atnailpolishdoestoyourfungifiedfeetDidn’tyourmo 

thertellyou does your mother know you’re here? 

youSporesinthecrackslikeMosespartingtheRedSea 

Didn’tyourmothertellyouthatYoucan’tmaketomato 

sauceoutoftomatoesOnceinsidetheywillmultiplylik 

emoldina have you told her yet, how  

you make your living?  

within hours. within days. within months. this simple.  

forces you. nine out of ten. less than. starts to. melt.  

away. my mother. gets these needles. every month.  

directly in her eyes. 

                                                                           Thank you; that explains a lot. 

honestly I wouldn’t wish it on anyone this strangest  

method i’ve ever seen to stop to consider yourself lucky 

to completely eliminate fatal heart attacks by twenty  

twenty six stop what you’re doing regardless of age of  

chronic issues medical history … 

It is Monday. I am already dead. 

But thanks anyway for your time.

Katharina Mueller is a double-degree fifth-year at Oberlin College and Conservatory, graduating with a B.A. in Creative Writing and a B.M. in Music Composition. Outside of work, she enjoys playing violin, hiking, camping, inordinate reading, and befriending stray cats.