Sunny with a Chance of Cynicism: Midterms Week

Libby Salemi, Columnist

If the rest of this campus is feeling anything like I am at this moment in time, we might be having a problem with extreme ADHD and complete boredom. From my three fall semesters at this school, I’ve noticed this to be a trend around this time. Everyone’s a little more fidgety, but at the same time we’re all exhausted. We’re stressed about midterms, but no one wants to do any- thing except maybe split a pitcher with some friends and dance or sit around all day watching Netflix and playing Minecraft (or LoL or Magic or whatever typical nerdy game; feel free to pick your poison). Unfortunately, as much as I want to, I can’t sit around all day playing video games, and I really can’t afford to dance around drunk every night, either. I’m a busy lady, and I’m assuming the rest of the campus is just as busy. But here are some important things I’ve learned to keep in mind over the mind-numbing experience that is Oberlin College midterms.

For starters, I’ve learned that the best route for midterms success is to be the least amount of organized as possible. Just wing everything. You think you could benefit from getting started on your work early? Clearly you’re wrong. You need to take a little time as possible on your work and spend all the rest of your time on Facebook. Think about it: This week is the perfect time to see what your old high school crush is up to. I know you don’t care about them the other 350 days of the year, but you really need to start caring now. And when you get to the final hours of midterms, that is the time to panic, cry and sweat out a 10-page paper without sleeping for two days. And don’t forget to keep Facebooking intermittently throughout those last few hours.

I also give myself enough leisure time to not go crazy during the next couple of weeks. For a lot of people, this might feel like the wrong approach, but god dammit, I need something to look forward to each day that isn’t work plus more work. If I don’t spend almost all of my time each day hanging out with someone or doing tasks that I could definitely save until fall break to do, I might actually go insane. Personally I’ve never been one to trust institutionalized living, so giving myself almost the entire two weeks of freedom from it all gives me some joy in each of my days. Maybe that’s just me, but I’ll still put it down as one of my tips for life success.

Another thing to remember is how important sleep is. And by that I mean it’s no longer important. You’re an adult now. It’s not like you’re growing anymore. It’s just not something you need. Get as little sleep as possible. All that time you’d be using sleeping is precious Facebook and YouTube time. Utilize that time correctly. Also, don’t forget to stop eating like a normal human being. Your diet should only consist of Oreos, ramen and Agave supreme nachos, which you make the girl who’s been pining after your body for a month get you at one in the morning. These are the things a body needs to function during these stressful times.

Finally, it’s important to remember the people in your life at this time. Remember all the wonderful traits that attracted you to them in the first place. And remember that thing they did that really pissed you off recently? It’s time to forget that you forgave them and bring that argument to the foreground again. Heck, bring the rest of your friends into that argument, too. This is the perfect time to start drama. Everyone’s stressed and hungry and tired; it’s time to bring in a little extra to keep them going. Some yelling and awkward tension could really be beneficial to your friend group in these times. So set your boiling point a little lower and get ready for the fun.

Anyway, this is my advice for a successful midterm season. Hopefully they’re somewhat helpful to the student body. I know I’ll be keeping it real with these steps.