Editor’s Note: This article contains mention of sexual harm.

Rape culture: it’s a concept most of us have heard of and know is present in our society, but we prefer not to acknowledge it. Sexual violence is incredibly uncomfortable to speak about. It’s personal and horrendous. What’s even scarier is the amount of people who experience sexual violence and its normalization in our culture. Marshall University’s Women’s and Gender Center defines rape culture as “an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused.” While there has been a wider recognition of rape culture within our society, it still continues to flourish on some of our society’s biggest stages. 

The recent case of celebrities Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher defending their friend convicted of rape is a perfect example. On Sept. 7, Danny Masterson, their That ’70s Show costar, was sentenced to 30 years to life in prison for the rape of two women. The violence Masterson perpetuated toward these two women is an example of the unfortunate commonality of rape in our culture. But what has also made headlines about this case is Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher’s character letters. The letters, which they wrote ahead of Materson’s sentencing, urge Judge Charlaine Olmedo to lessen the sentence for Masterson and describe the kindness of his character. 

In Kunis’ letter, she describes Masterson as being “instrumental in [her] growth.” In addition, Kutcher states, “I do not believe he is an ongoing harm to society and having his daughter raised without a present father would [be] a tertiary injustice in and of itself.” What’s so upsetting about these statements is that they lessen the impact of the harm that Masterson committed. To state that Masterson getting jail time would harm his daughter also places blame on the victims; it asks the judge to empathize with him when, in truth, it is Masterson who decided to risk being separated from his daughter by committing horrific crimes. The two faced an extreme amount of backlash from these letters. While the backlash is, without a doubt, deserved, I couldn’t help feeling anger at its hypocrisy. The majority of our society upholds the same beliefs and behaviors that Kutcher and Kunis demonstrate.

The majority of liberal people, especially at a school like Oberlin College, would say they support survivors of sexual harm. Yet sexual violence and the silencing of victims, especially against women and on college campuses, is still rampant and normalized. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network estimates that one in six American women have experienced rape or attempted rape — and this does not include other forms of sexual violence like harassment or assault. This is particularly scary for young women. Women in college, aged 18–22, are three times more likely to experience sexual violence than women in general, according to RAINN. From experience in talking with student survivors, I know that, like at many colleges, sexual violence is a major issue at Oberlin College.

Since beginning my studies at Oberlin College, I have worked with Survivors of Sexual Harm & Allies, an Oberlin student-led group intended to promote healing, empowerment, and activism for survivors of sexual harm and their allies. Working in the survivor space at Oberlin has exposed me to the fact that countless students have experienced sexual harm on our campus. 

One of the reasons that I chose Oberlin College is that I felt a small liberal arts college would be a safer community than a larger university when it came to sexual violence. However, I quickly learned that rape culture and sexual violence were prevalent at Oberlin College, just like at other colleges across the country. What makes the issue of sexual violence and rape culture at Oberlin College particularly challenging is the way Oberlin students pride themselves on being extremely liberal and woke. It’s uncomfortable for Oberlin students, who view themselves as having more progressive and accepting beliefs than most of society, to acknowledge how they may perpetuate rape culture.

Rape culture at Oberlin is often expressed in the ways that excuse the behavior of perpetrators of sexual harm — especially when they are close friends. When an individual is accused of sexually assaulting someone in our community, I have often heard phrases from students like, “That’s not the type of guy he is,” or, “Trust me, I know him.” This rhetoric makes survivors of sexual violence feel that they will not be believed if they come out with their story and takes away blame from perpetrators of sexual harm. We like to believe that strangers we never interact with commit sexual violence, but in truth, most survivors experience sexual harm from people they know. It is challenging to reckon with the fact that our loved ones and people in our community can commit sexual violence. But if we refuse to acknowledge this, we are silencing survivors and promoting the very rape culture we denigrate.  

Many people were shocked by Kunis and Kutcher’s letters in defense of Masterson. The two are beloved figures and have worked previously in spaces to support survivors and victims of human trafficking. In truth, Oberlin College students also defend abusers. While recognizing and criticizing Kunis and Kutcher’s behavior is important, we should take this as an opportunity to think about the way their letters reflect the harmful nature of rape culture. We should take the opportunity to look inward at our own community and the ways we participate in silencing sexual harm survivors.