In the daily travels of an Oberlin student, they are likely to run into dozens of familiar faces. Whether those familiar faces are accompanied by a familiar personality, however, is less of a guarantee. In other environments, such as the larger cities many Oberlin students hail from, running into someone happens with far less frequency. A run-in is a chance occurrence that leaves you almost no choice but to acknowledge your fellow soul; it is simply common courtesy.
In Oberlin, because of the sheer amount of run-ins, that expectation is diminished. One can simply not wave at every single face they recognize; you are given a little more social agency in whom you choose to address. The gravity with which one makes that choice, of course, differs from person to person, but I postulate that once you and another establish a pattern of a casual wave, you have entered a new type of relationship, one between acquaintance and friend, what I call a wave-ship.
The wave-ship, while it can come from a variety of sources, is inherently transitional and temporary. While one can maintain a friendship for years and maintain acquaintance with someone for as long as they are placed in the same environments, the wave-ship only works as long as it strikes the careful balance between fighting off the awkwardness that comes from the lack of an established rapport and the “risk” of establishing a true friendship. The wave-ship can act as either a transition into friendship or the journey away from it; in that sense, it can be thought of as a sort of social progress bar, with different levels of progress marked by the type of hello one waver exchanges with another. To understand the levels of this relationship, we must follow a waver as they progress through the four different types of interactions, each with its own implications: the unrequited hello, the simple nod, the smile and wave, and the walk-up.
The Unrequited Hello
The unrequited hello marks either the beginning or the end of a wave-ship. Seeing a familiar face — perhaps a classmate or a friend you once had — an aspiring waver tepidly raises a hand or shoots a glance toward their target as they walk past. To their horror, their acquaintance does not respond in kind.
Instantly, a splattering of excuses floods through our waver’s head; they run a mental calculus to determine whether their target simply did not notice their gesture or if, perhaps, the reason runs deeper. “Maybe,” they think, “the lack of response signifies the end; I should pack it up and move on.”
Trapped in despair, the waver reflects on the origins of their attempt. They reminisce about their first meeting with their betrayer, how they sat two seats away from each other in class or drunkenly chatted one early Saturday morning. In the few minutes after the unrequited hello, our waver toils over the three things they know about their betrayer, replaying the fateful moment of rejection in their head.
Often, the waver’s attempts end there, and what could have been a wave-ship is killed in its infancy. But for the brave of heart, the attempts continue, and with some luck, they will receive a wave in return, establishing the foundations of a wave-ship with their peer.
The Simple Nod
Despite its name, interactions in this category are not limited to nods; instead, it applies to any sort of mutual hello where both parties limit their enthusiasm. Interactions of this sort are the most mundane, satisfying the bare minimum of the hallway hello, and because of this, these wave-ships risk becoming stagnant. The simple nod satisfies the courtesy of a mutual hello but leaves little room for any further interaction. Our waver can find themselves repeating the nod for days, for weeks, exchanging the briefest bouts of eye contact while they execute their hello with clinical efficiency.
If a wave-ship becomes stuck in this cycle, regression to acquaintancehood is inevitable; one begins to forget the other’s name and tires of the niceties they feel obligated to take part in. Sooner or later, our waver’s worst nightmare comes: the unrequited hello returns. They may have been able to overcome it in the past, but the heartache becomes too much to bear, and our waver gives up.
To avoid this fate, one must, again, be brave and break free from the nonchalance that the nod requires. If they let themselves be free and allow some enthusiasm to imbue their hellos, our waver can move on to the next step of their wave-ship.
The Smile and Wave
If two wavers find themselves executing the smile and wave with regularity, their wave-ship begins to reach some level of emotional fulfillment. The smile and wave is the most easily recognizable form of hallway hello. Both parties have admitted to themselves and to each other a level of mutual admiration, perhaps even daring to break the vocal barrier, allowing chance “hellos” and “wassups” to escape their lips.
Now, if they become too comfortable, there is the risk of regressing into previous stages, but so long as our waver understands that they cannot linger forever, they can pause and enjoy this stage of the wave-ship. For isn’t it lovely to know that both you and your partner have places to be, and yet you both take time to exchange a smile and wave, a reminder of your mutual existence in this world?
After enjoying their time, our waver understands that the time for progress has come and begins to summon the courage to enter the final stage; it’s time to make conversation.
The Walk-Up
The first walk-up is in many ways the most frightening type of hello a waver can attempt, but it can also be the most rewarding. The first conversation determines compatibility between two wavers, opening the possibility for friendship if successful and cementing acquaintanceship if failed.
Our waver, after exchanging the smile and wave they have become so accustomed to, must elongate their run-in, making the dangerous assumption that their partner is willing to take a more significant time out of their busy schedule to chat.
Taking that first step in engagement, the world seems to tremble around our waver; the point of no return has been reached, and they have no choice but to march toward their fellow waver and converse, beginning the final exam of a wave-ship. If unsuccessful, the conversation is stilted, burning through the typical lines about the weather or each person’s permanently alright mental state. Our waver may try again in the future, but if walk-up after walk-up ends in awkward silence, the wave-ship will quickly regress.
If successful, however, the conversation will flow, and a mutual chemistry will be established, and from the chemistry, consistency. Consistent conversation is the final stage of a wave-ship; once established, it is only a matter of time before friendship comes. Either way, once the walk-up has occurred multiple times, regardless of outcome, the end of the wave-ship is near.
Mastering the Hallway Hello
After diligent study of the nuances of the wave-ship, our waver has reached transcendence. Emerging from their bedroom on a lovely weekend afternoon, they’re greeted with hundreds of students sprawled across grass fields, and, scanning the horizon, they notice dozens of potential wavers.
With the first step, they throw out their left arm due north, their index and middle fingers extended: a peace sign. With the next, they shift their gaze to the left, nodding their head up and down, a slight curve marking the corner of their mouth. Both greetings are returned with the same enthusiasm. So far so good.
A few yards down the path, our waver recognizes another face. Throwing up an open palm, they are horrified to find eyes still buried in a phone; the unrequited hello. Dazed, our waver stumbles through their next paces, heartache resonating through their body.
Determined to be persistent, our waver locks eyes with another, busting out a toothy smile and rotating their hand 45 degrees in either direction. Pivoting, they take one step toward them, then another; the target catches on. In sync, they approach each other, and, when deeming the distance small enough, our waver opens with, “Hi, how are you?”
